To my Mother: Happy Birthday

Please note this letter is a form of therapy for me. The other names mentioned in this letter are those of my siblings, nieces and nephew. My hope in sharing this letter openly is that it helps someone else going through loss find a way to connect with their loved one. If this letter can inspire one other person to do the same and help them heal, then I don’t want to keep it to myself.

Hi Mama,

Today is your birthday. You know I’m finding out more and more that I’m truly your daughter. Like you, the older I get I don’t take my birthday as seriously as I use to. But I remember you always made such a huge deal of our birthdays. I guess that’s why your birthdays have become such a win for my soul. Writing you these letters every year is very therapeutic for me. And every year, I find myself smiling a little more and crying a little less as I write them. I know we talk a lot already, but you know we need to catch you up on the big things.

So shall we?

Because of the civil war in Liberia, we lost a lot of our photos and material things. This is one of the few I hold very close to my heart. She’s so gorgeous. Photos were always so important to my mother. We took a lot of them so it’s not always easy to remember we lost pretty much lost all of them. But the memories are so much more special.

Well, first, you guessed it. I’m still single. But that’s beside the point. I know, I can already hear you right now… “Char Char, you don’t need a man, you are enough and I love you very much”. Gosh you always made everything better. And you’re right I don’t NEED a man. But you know if you could arrange a tall, dark and handsome Trevor Noah look alike for me I wouldn’t mind at all.

What your other kids are up to:

Speaking of a man. Caroline got married! Yea you heard that right. There’s a man who is strong enough to handle Caroline. Well, at least he’s trying. You would be so proud of her. She’s done a phenomenal job with Nyla. She’s so big now! I can’t even handle it!

More on the Auntie front, Ethan is in elementary school now!! And Elise Marjorie just turned 1! Ellen Moore is such an example to me everyday. She hasn’t let you down one bit. She’s on my case a lot. But she really keeps me going at times. She loves me like crazy, and she’s always there even from thousands of miles away. She’s been the best big sister and I am so proud.

Ricky is doing well. I mean you know we give me a hard time. But that’s the life of being the only boy. Life with all the girls isn’t always easy. But he’s still cool, calm and collected as always.

And last but not least, Miracle just started her freshman year is COLLEGE!! I can’t even believe I’m typing that. You won’t believe it Mama. She’s so intelligent, opinionated, beautiful and a complete hand full! I’m on her like white on rice whether she likes it or not. But I know you would be so proud of her.

THANK YOU FOR ALWAYS TAKING CARE OF US

Now, In other news, I’m writing a cookbook! Can you believe I’m saying that? I’m actually doing it! Still doesn’t feel real yet. But I hope you will be proud. All my other work adventures are going well too! I’m really happy professionally and I can’t believe I get to say that.

I miss you so much. I still miss you braiding my hair very Sunday and us singing and learning our songs for choir together. Those are the memories that keep me going. It’s getting easier. I’m learning everyday that you lived a beautiful, passionate, compassionate, kind, phenomenal life. Every year, I can smile more and more knowing you gave me life. You instilled the core values I live by on a daily basis. And you gave me Grandma Toulia. I know you always admired her. And I know you left us in her very capable hands. Thank you for always looking out for us.

I love you Marjorie Scotland. You were always one of a kind. And I am so happy, honored and proud to be your daughter. Happy Birthday Mama!

Love you,

Char Char

Click HERE if you would like to read my past letters.