An Open Letter to My Mother on Her Birthday

This is an open letter to my mother on her birthday. My mom passed away when I was 11 years old from breast cancer. These letters have become very therapeutic for me. My hope is it gives you some hope that you will be ok in the midst of grief.

Hi Mama,

Before I sat down to write this letter, I just felt this calming sense of peace. It didn’t surprise me because that’s the kind of spirit you exude. Whenever I’m feeling overwhelmed or like I want to curl up into a ball, the thought of your smile and your voice telling me I can do anything is what keeps me going.

This year has been very rewarding! I wrote my first letter to you last year when I first launched this website. And now, this is my full-time business (which you already knew). Your strength and constant will to succeed even when you didn’t have the opportunity continue to drive me. I am always going to be your daughter, and that is the greatest gift God could have blessed me with.

“My life forever has meaning because I knew you”

I recently saw a movie and the main character lost her mother at a pretty young age. She spoke about how she sometimes felt so guilty when she thought of her family and for a split second would forget there was a time when it wasn’t just her, her father and sisters. When she said that, I found myself crying hysterically because I thought I was a horrible person for sometimes (just a split second) forgetting that it wasn’t always just me, grandma, Caroline, Ricky, Miracle and Ellen Moore. The amount of guilt I feel for thinking that, even if it’s just a split second, is heartbreaking. But I realized that it is a sign of healing! I have realized that I am growing and finding a place of peace with every year. Me not constantly reliving your death allows me to celebrate your life, your smile, your scent, and your terrible jokes!

You already know this, but I’m still single and really enjoying it! I am able to really pour my heart into who I want to be and what I want to achieve. I mean again, if you want to send a man my way, I am 100% on with that! Lol.

I KNOW YOU WANT UPDATES ON EVERYONE’S LIFE, SO HERE YOU GO!

Ricky is having a baby! Which I think him, Caroline and Ellen Moore are trying my life right now! How am I the only single one? Well, Miracle is very single herself (at least I hope so). Speaking of Miracle, she’s a senior now!! How?!? I can’t even say that without screaming. But don’t worry. I put all of them in their places from time to time (Ricky will say all the time but that’s our special relationship). Ellen Moore is also having a baby, and it’s a girl!! I swear she looks more and more like you every day. She is just glowing and that makes me so happy. Caroline is loving life in Boston and Nyla is just growing like a weed! I swear that niece of mine is going to do big things and I can’t wait to continuously spoil her on her way there.

There isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t wish I could just hold your hand and talk to you. Or sit on the floor while you braid my hair or listen to your life lessons and go to choir practice with you just one more time. But I know for a fact that you are at peace and that you are always with us. I love you Majorie Scotland. Until next year, Happy Birthday!

Love,

Char Char

CliIck here to read last year’s “an open letter to my mother on her birthday”